Is being afraid to fail really being afraid to be different?

If you are spending a lot of time researching how other people did it perhaps you’re afraid to be a little different?

You can learn on your own terms. Courses usually teach you what to do step by step.

Yet some people are afraid to start in case they fail. They want to make sure they have everything right before opening the books. They want to have everything 100% perfect with minimal to no effort. Failing means they might be different to those who succeeded before them.

I’m often amazed at how much effort people put into researching. Seeking to know from others, ’How long did it take you? How many hours did you put in Is there anyway that I can learn faster than you? Are there any short cuts? What’s the secret?’

Now it’s interesting when I tell them just start the course it will you as long as it takes you. Three months later they are still asking me how long will it take when I start and can you guarantee me that I will succeed?

Well no I can’t guarantee you’ll succeed. Sad to say if you’re still researching whether you should start the course three months later I’m not sure you’ll succeed because you might not start.

Is it really difficult to be that little bit different and just start the course and perhaps not be a master at it the first time you do it? How can you make it okay to be different that it takes you a different length of time than someone else? Why must your ability match their time frame?

Dare to be different.

The sooner you start the course the sooner you reach a destination.

Consider this for a moment. If you spent 3 months researching 2 hours a day to prove that the course you are interested in works. You’ve spent roughly 240 hours researching. If you start a course with 8 to 24 CDs that require an hour of listening and perhaps an hour of work each the total time to complete the course is 16 to 48 hours.

If you started 3 months ago you’d be using a new skill now.

So don’t ask

- how long did it take you?

- how much have your grades improved

- what are your grades now?

The answer is who cares? You’re not really asking to be inspired you’re asking to be guaranteed that the effort is worth it. Yet expending more effort looking for that guarantee. Just Do It and see.

Ask instead

- what are you doing that I am not?

And I can answer immediately. I’m applying what I learned.

We are all different. So there is little point to fear what is reality. Dance to the tune of your own drum. Just make sure you recognise where you are putting your energy. Into procrastination? You don’t need to research reasons why you shouldn’t do something you don’t want to do. Don’t do it. If you’re not interested in a course right now then it’s okay to say it.

I see people spend three months researching before they take a risk and do the course. They stoke the fear that they will fail.They rob themselves of the valuable time they have to start learning and then are rushed by desperation and panic because they used so much time researching. If you need to prove that you can or cannot learn what is taught in a course you need to start the course and see. No one else can do that for you.

Experimenting and discovering it doesn’t work for you isn’t failure and you’re still okay. You’re allowed to be different. You don’t have to be good at the same thing as everyone else. You just found out what doesn’t work for you.

What do you think?